just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Damn victory sex feels great
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
