I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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