I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
