Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
