Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
