Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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