So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He better not be in your backpack
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
