hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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