I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
