I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
