I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Randomize
