lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
