That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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