life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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