i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
