Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
