6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
