guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
