i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
