So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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