she told me i tasted like america
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
