After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
