Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
