Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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