There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
