tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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