so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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