How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
