O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
porn star boner night. come get it.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
