Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
