My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
