i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize