I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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