I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
