I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
