and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Houston, we have a blender
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
