So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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