You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
