We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
