5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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