I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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