my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
