I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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