I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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