So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
