***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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