You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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