If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
