You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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