I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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