Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize