What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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