watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
