Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
